Whatever you do, do not read this!
You have to believe me! I don't know what else to do.
Here's my advice: Stop reading this right now and forget about it forever.
I'm not kidding.
If you read one more word there's no way I can protect you.
If you don't follow my advice there's nothing I or anyone can do for you.
See? You've read too far. Now, everything that follows is your fault. You've failed the first test. How many more will follow?
I did not compose this message. They made me write it. My hands are on the keyboard, but the eyes reading this are yours.
You've come this far, I fear there's no hope for you. Or me.
The only help I can give you - they're watching you. They're listening to your thoughts. They're waiting for you to make a mistake.
I know because I made the same mistake.